So landed in Vietnam, Ho Chi Minh City at 5.30am. Couldn’t see much on landing as it was very overcast with low cloud( didn’t help that it was only just starting to get light. Tried to watch the plane taxiing to the terminal but the window steamed up, somewhat humid.
Not a massive airport so quite quick to our parking spot. Off the plane really quickly, good choice this premier economy, we are let off first. Short walk through the terminal to immigration ( nows the time to see if our research on visas is correct). Low and behold straight through, no Visa required.
Hook up to the free wi-fi Ibis hotel 8 minute walk. Always game for a laugh so off we go. 2 minutes then we’re out of the airport and onto the roads…… Kin chaos, we can see the hotel across the huge expanse of tarmac, even with a version of a zebra crossing. It looked a tad dramatic, we found out later there are 9 million scooters in the city and they all appeared to be on this one street. There is no gaps you just have to step out and walk at a slow steady pace. Neen shut her eyes, I stopped trying to see if we were about to be smeared across the road, and carried on with a stiff upper lip (also trembling upper lip and an imminent possibility of some very damaged underwear). After 30 to 40 minutes of terror, probably more in the region 30 seconds we stepped on to the opposite kerb. Looking behind us and looking once again across the sea of bikes and cars, SHIT, did we just get across that in one piece. It looked like a simple walk the rest of the way, maybe 200 yards until we looked properly, 50 yards of pavement and 150 yards of seething death. We fell into the lobby of the hotel, both clinging to the doors till the tremors diminished.

We had a day room booked but couldn’t get in till 12noon, so we left our bags and had a coffee, couldn’t get anything stronger……
We had a food tour booked for 10.00am which was quiet a way off, about 40 minutes in a taxi, time now 06.15am, bollocks too bleeding early, so we hung around for a bit, change into shorts to try and get some air circulating, then a taxi into armageddon. It is somewhat worse to be constantly surrounded by buzzing scooters of all shapes and sizes all trying to fit into a 3 ½ inch gap plus a whole host of cars and buses, I thought Sri Lanka was bad, but this is worse. I still can’t believe what can be carried on a little 39cc scooter, from whole families to the entire contents of you house or farm.




We eventually made it to Chợ Bến Thành market in
District 1, shaken and stirred. 2 ½ hours early so let’s go and explore some local culture. As we are ambling around it soon became obvious that we were they only westerners there, surprisingly not hassled too much, then we decided to actually stop at a stall to look at something, then they pounced, they were all still smiling but you could see the determination in their eyes ( we will part you from your money). We did buy a couple of things, but no matter how good or clever you think you have been, as your walking away you know you have lost. Eventually 10.00am arrived along with our tour guide Susan(obviously not her real name, just something for us aliens to understand and be comfortable with). She was very nice and started us off with a bowl of a spicy soup and a variety of different lumps of rice, corn, tapioca dough balls and a flat sausage, the soup was nice but some very strange textures, washed down with a sugar cane cold drink. Then off on a 15 minute walk through the valley of death to another eatery, this is supposed to be a very well known street food place, we got a baguette with pork and a sort of salad in a bag, across the road to a very small cafe for some Vietnamese coffee and tea. Coffee is strong I did try the tea, Neen said it okay, but I think all tea once brewed should be immediately poured straight down the drain. So a couple of mouthfuls into the baguette, bit down on something very crunchy, hmm a bit a crackling, no my filling has fallen out again!!!!
Onwards across varying roads of mass destruction to a stall, basically on a bike on the pavement where we tried another soup type dish with papaya, sliced radish beef jerky and a chilli sauce, rather nice. Another wander across seas of scooter doom to a cool looking street cafe serving a type of prawn omelette cooked over open charcoal fires. It came with a variety of lettuce, basil and a few other leaves which you wrapped bits of the omelette in then dipped in a sauce which you seasoned to your own taste with chilli. All washed down with a couple of local beers. All very tasty. Then to the final stop to a very local market( a bit Royston Vasey) to try to local dessert, corn paste, tapioca and a bean paste with sweetened coconut milk poured over. This one not to my liking textures all wrong an too sweet for me. But you have to try these things, can’t see the point of travelling to far flung exotic places to eat in a pizza hut or mc bloody Donald’s.
Waved goodbye to our guide then back to the hotel by taxi. You know I’m getting used to this traffic its quiet mesmerising in a macabre way. Hotel room shower bed zzzzzzzzz knackered.
Up again at 5.30pm after a couple of hours kip for me, unfortunately Neen didn’t sleep at all (might get a bit of shut eye on the plane, overnighter to Sydney)
Offered a free hotel shuttle bus back to the airport, gratefully accepted as its raining. 5 minutes later heading back through immigration and security, a wander through duty free (not cheap anymore) a stop for beer and a coffee and down to the departure lounge. Again priority boarding, all seated and settled to feel smug as the economy class all walked through to their seats at the back, we could get used to this.
Supper arrives, we both go for the beef and rice, oh look there’s a sachet of chilli sauce to go with it, open the sachet, then I appear to be wearing most of it , the sodding thing split down the whole length

At least Neen turned away before i saw her shoulders shacking and a gaffaw escape from her lips… Bugger…
Cleaned up as best i could , settled down for a few films, Neen curls up on the seat. As i write this no one is sleeping except the bloke next to Neen who is snoring his head off. Me thinks he may be trying to breath through a pair of my socks shortly, which will be stuffed into his mouth.